About the author : Antwuan Malone
Antwuan Malone is a Ministry Director at ELEVATE Young Adult Ministry (elevateministry.net) where empowers young adults toward Christian leadership. He is passionate about seeing young adults take their place in church history by drawing near enough to God to hear his call on their life, and courageously living in obedience to that call.
how to get there
ever wonder what it’s like to know what you’re here for?
i do. i’ve wondered for like, ten years.
i knew what people said.
“you’re gonna be just like your dad.”
“you’re next!”
“i see a glow in you.”
but you can’t go on what other people say. my dad happened to be a minister/pastor for most of my life. so to “be just like him,” meant i’d do the same. honestly, the idea of that wasn’t all that scary. i had experienced a measure of leadership early on. something to build on. i loved the scriptures and i love fighting to understand God and what He really means to us as he’d chosen to reveal himself in Word and Flesh. i wasn’t afraid of the crowd, of the lights, of even the lifestyle. ministry wasn’t scary. in fact, a secret part of me kind of wanted to go there.
but i needed the “thumbs up” from God. and for all these years, i hadn’t gotten it.
until now.
there has never been a time in my life where i felt so clear about the direction my life should go in. never. not in my previous marriage. not in job selections, not with anything. God has placed a burning flame so constant and steady inside me. it’s like my heart is that bush moses spoke to that burned but was not consumed. passion. drive. excitement. even readiness.
but what now? what’s the next step?
i often ask God, “how cruel is it to tell me what you want me to do, without giving me the way to do it?’ perhaps that is my impatient flesh talking. or perhaps it is the effects of the long winding road that has led to this point. i don’t know. but God has given me a ministry. an egypt, of sorts. oh, i’m certainly no moses, but i’m beginning to understand the idea that he was given a certain people. a direct calling. a vision and a plan to go and tend to the needs of the bondage israelites.
i think i know who my israelites are. but i don’t know where to start. what to do next. i feel like those toy cars that you wind up or drag backwards to get the wheels ready to go. God’s wound me up, pulled me back and pointed me in a direction, but he hasn’t let go yet. im still here. stuck. ready… but stuck.
its both delightful and frustrating.
