Is It Okay to Be Christian, Single… and Sexy?

In Candid Christianity: The Blog, Love by Antwuan Malone

Guest Posted by Nicole Cottrell: | *read my post on this subject HERE)

It is no secret that being single is sometimes seen as a pseudo plague within the church. Marriage is exalted, while many single people are left feeling isolated, under-appreciated, or downright ignored.

Pastors pay little attention to singles from the pulpit. Instead, they direct their messages towards creating healthy marriages and the like. So, where does that leave single Christians?

If being a single Christian is seen by many in the church as such an unfortunate event, it would stand to reason that single people can’t actually be desirable.

The ideal image of a Christian, as painted by much of the American church, is one who marries young, has 2.3 children, and attends church each Sunday. Yet, what is the ideal portrait of a Christian who happens to also be single?

Can single Christians be seen as desirable? In fact, forget the word desirable. Can they be sexy?

Admittedly, the word “sexy” carries some negative stereotypes–stereotypes that we do not want to associate with Christians. At the same time, however, sex appeal does not simply cease to exist while one is single, yet then appear once one is married.

Individuals choose their spouses, in part, because they are physically attracted to them. We could call this sex appeal. Likewise, what one person might find as sexy, another may not.

The short answers seems to be that, yes, single Christians can be sexy. This, however, begs the question: Should they be sexy?

Christian women are instructed in the Bible to be modest. Today, modesty is certainly a dying concept, when the Mylie Cyruses of the world grinding on young men in music videos is our only representation of “innocence.”

Matthew 18:7 also says, “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” I believe this applies to all believers. Thus, dudes flirting in sexually suggestive ways is just as harmful as a chick wearing a shirt that happens to be a smidge or more too low-cut.

The question of sexiness, then, comes down to each individual and what they believe is acceptable before the Lord. I, for instance, have always been a modest dresser, even before knowing the Lord. I decided some time ago to ask myself this question: If Jesus were standing right in front of me, would I be comfortable in what I was wearing or would I try to cover myself?

Each believer must ask themselves their own set of questions, in line with scripture. God gave us sex appeal. He designed men and women to be attracted to one another. However, he also designed us to not only be attracted to the physicality of the opposite sex. A million other factors come into play…intellect, sense of humor, mood, temperament, etc.

Should something else come into play when considering a Christian sexy? I have a friend who found a man who truly loved Jesus to be about the most attractive trait a man could hold.

She once said, “A man who loves Jesus is hot.” I happen to agree. There is something attractive about a man devoted to God. This attractive quality could, I suppose, translate into sexiness for some.

In short, while I don’t expect Christians who are single to walk around oozing sex appeal, I don’t see why they can’t be sexy on some level. Each person has to determine what is appropriate and pleasing to God in their own single life. Likewise, love for God can never be underestimated as an attractive, even desirable quality. Christians: Sexy and single? Yes. Oh yes.

Do you agree or disagree? Can Christians be single and sexy? Why or why not? What makes a single Christian sexy?

Nicole Cottrell is trained in the fine art of button-pushing. She uses her skills daily on Modern Reject where she writes about the intersection of faith and culture as well as the unpopular stuff no one else likes to talk about. Nicole is a speaker, writer, discipler, and coffee fanatic.

website: twitter: @modernreject


Read Candid Christianity’s view of this subject soon on the ModernReject site :


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Antwuan Malone is a Ministry Director at ELEVATE Young Adult Ministry ( where empowers young adults toward Christian leadership. He is passionate about seeing young adults take their place in church history by drawing near enough to God to hear his call on their life, and courageously living in obedience to that call.