Christian, Married, … and Sexy?!

In Love by Antwuan Malone

Is It Okay to be Christian, Married and Sexy?

Guest Posted by Nicole Cottrell:
(read my post on this subject HERE)


Before my marriage, if you would have asked me if a woman can be sexy and married, I would have answered with a resounding, “Yes!”

Last Wednesday, Antwuan Malone and I tackled the question of whether or not single Christians can be sexy. But today, we’re asking if married Christians can be sexy.

Many of you commented here and over at Modern Reject, stating that you agreed they could, but were still unsure and unclear about the ramification and connotations associated with the word “sexy.”

The Bible, however, has a lot to say about sexiness within marriage. In fact, the Bible contains one of the sexiest, steamiest, and most graphic descriptions of lovemaking around.

*ahem* It’s about to get hot in here…

Despite what some Christians might have you believe, God created sex to be enjoyed and Song of Solomon is proof of that. The book portrays the pure love of a Shulammite woman and the shepherd that she is betrothed to marry.

The book is rife with sexual descriptions of a what a husband and wife should aspire to sexually within marriage. The Shulammite woman is described as fair, beautiful, and sensual. The shepherd is described as handsome, charming, and her beloved.

Countless commentaries have been written on the Song of Solomon. Many theologians disagree as to the interpretation of the text, as to whether it is allegorical or literal. I’m no theologian, but I’d like to think it is literal–the sexual longing of a bride for her groom and he for her.

In one such commentary, the idea that God created sex for sex’s sake is underlined:

Here [in the Song of Solomon] sex is for joy, for union, for relationship, for celebration. Its lyrics contain no aspirations to pregnancy, no anticipations of parenthood. The focus is not on progeny to assure the continuity of the line but on passion to express the commitment to covenant between husband and wife.

So, if we agree that the Lord created sex, not only to procreate, but also to simply enjoy–are we also willing to accept the idea that it logically follows that sexiness can and should be a trait within marriage?

I would hope that every spouse agrees that their particular husband or wife is, indeed, sexy. Perhaps they do not meet the world’s definition of sexy–superficial, shallow, and strictly appearance-based–but they are sexy, nonetheless.

The reason? Because they are yours…because they are the Lord’s gift to you. Much like the young Shulammite woman and her shepherd in Song of Solomon, you are desirous of the lover God has given you, teeming with want and passion.

Marriage, as designed by God, is the breeding ground for sexiness. It is the holy, protected union before the Lord, whereby two individuals can fully express their love spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

Of course, sexiness is not only the physical manifestation of love (i.e. the act of sex), but also the longing and desire for your spouse. The Song of Solomon is, in fact, not the memory of the physical act of marriage, but the longing for such a time.

The two would-be lovers were just that–would-be. Their account is one of anticipation, built up sexual desire, and sexual tension. All these two lovers want is one another. They expressed this desire through detailed description. Some could even call it foreplay. Of course this sexual wanting was all to take place within the pure and holy context of marriage…and man, it doesn’t get much sexier than that.

[box]Nicole Cottrell is trained in the fine art of button-pushing. She uses her skills daily on Modern Reject where she writes about the intersection of faith and culture as well as the unpopular stuff no one else likes to talk about. Nicole is a speaker, writer, discipler, and coffee fanatic.

website: twitter: @modernreject [/box]


Read Candid Christianity’s view of this subject soon on the ModernReject site :


The following two tabs change content below.
Antwuan Malone is a Ministry Director at ELEVATE Young Adult Ministry ( where empowers young adults toward Christian leadership. He is passionate about seeing young adults take their place in church history by drawing near enough to God to hear his call on their life, and courageously living in obedience to that call.